YES – post-wedding blues is actually a thing; lots of brides go through it after their wedding day. I’m one of them – I experienced the post-wedding blues for a few weeks after our wedding.
As soon as the big day was over, I began to feel sad. Even though I found wedding planning to be stressful and overwhelming, I couldn’t help but feel a void; there would be no more anticipation, no more well-wishes, no to-do lists like registering for wedding gifts or going to dress fittings with my mom.
After years of wondering what my wedding day would be like, the day was over in a flash. It almost felt like an abrupt ending to our love story. I felt like the biggest, most important day of my life was done with, and now there was nothing to look forward to, and nothing would ever compare to that moment.
How on earth could I have thought this? I have a whole life with my husband to look forward to! I was thinking about it all wrong, and many of that was due to how much importance society places on having the perfect wedding. It’s actually very sad. I wish there was more focus on the actual marriage, and less on your wedding day, which no matter how well you plan, will not go perfectly.
When you come back from your honeymoon feeling a little blue because your wedding day has passed, don’t get too worried; lots of brides experience this, but it should pass soon, once real life starts to settle in and you get a daily routine down. You’re going to have an entire new way of living to adjust to, which should keep you plenty busy for the rest of your life!
How To Get Over Your Post-Wedding Blues
Below are a few things that helped me get over the wedding blues and helped me accept the fact that my wedding day had come and gone. I know with a little work on your part, you can be done with the post-wedding blues soon, too!
1. Stop thinking of your wedding day as the MOST pivotal moment of your life.
Yes, your wedding day is special because it unites you and your husband in a special way. You are now a family, and you’re legally and spiritually bound to one another. However, life is deeper than floral centerpieces, menu cards, and fancy hors d’oeuvres. Start thinking about your actual marriage, how precious it is, how lucky you are to have it, and how you’re going to nurture and protect it.
2. Focus on making your house or apartment a home.
Chances are that after all the chaos of hosting a wedding, your living quarters might look a little chaotic right now! This is the perfect time to nest, and make your house a home. You likely have some wedding decor that you could incorporate into your home decor, such as frames, the vases from your floral centerpieces, and of course, those gorgeous wedding photos you posed for.
Incorporating your wedding decor into the interior design of your home can help you feel like your wedding day isn’t just lost in the passed somewhere, but is a documented part of your life, and a beautiful memory that deserves to be remembered every time you walk through your front door.
3. Focus on Building A Strong Marriage
I honestly think that our society places far too much importance on having the perfect wedding, and not enough on building a strong marriage. It almost seems as though marriage is an afterthought, when it should really be the priority. Maybe this is why the divorce rate is so high; we need to take more time to figure out how to be the best spouse we can be, and how we can build the kind of marriage we’ve always dreamt of having.
Sitting down to talk to your spouse about what his/her hopes and expectations are for the marriage can be very helpful in building your relationship now that you’ve entered into this new phase in your life.
Reading books on marriage like The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work and The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts is also very helpful, especially if you grew up with divorced parents, and weren’t exposed to many relationships in your life that you can draw inspiration from. If you make your relationship and new life a priority, you may be amazed at how little time you spend obsessing over the fact that your wedding day is over.
4. Start Creating New Traditions that Enrich Your Lives
I loved my family’s traditions growing up; it was nice to have our own special moments together. Now that I’m married, I can’t wait to start creating traditions with my husband; it’s a way of establishing that we’re our own little family now. I’m thankful that we have the privilege of choosing how we spend our time together, and even how we spend the holidays! Enjoy creating new traditions with your husband, and learn to appreciate how fortunate you are to be doing this.
5. Plan Date Nights
This one seems obvious but it’s important. I know a lot of couples don’t plan their dates, they just wing it, and that’s fine, too. The problem with that, however, is that there’s usually no build up to the date, there’s no planning in advance, no ticket buying, or making reservations.
For the wife who is dealing with the loss of planning a wedding, this may be a downer. Try planning a detailed date for the near future (a ball game, a musical, dinner at a new restaurant) and you’ll have something special to plan, and be extra excited about.
6. Think of All The Other Parties and Events You’ll Get To Plan
Now that you’ve embarked on this wonderful new journey with your husband, you have so many things to look forward to. The best thing about that is that you have a partner to share it all with. Just think, you’ll soon purchasing a house, hosting holiday dinners, enjoying your family at your baby shower, baptizing your child, attending little-league games, and planning a beautiful future for your own little family. Doesn’t that sound like heaven? Maybe your plans will look different than mine, but I believe everyone has something that they can look forward to in the future. Let these events fill you with hope and excitement, and you’ll beat those blues in no time.
*I actually made a separate Pinterest board for my future baby shower and baby’s baptism, and I pin to it all the time because it reminds me that I have other parties to plan! This has made all the difference with helping me get over my post-wedding blues.
7. Take Up A New Hobby
I think it’s important to take time for yourself. Did you neglect your wedding workout routine? Perhaps you never had one. Now would be a excellent time to get active! After all, you’re going to need all the extra strength and endurance you can get if you plan to have kids soon. Joining a new gym that offers group classes is a great way to stay motivated, and you might even make a new friend or two. If exercising is out of the question, try to think of other ways to focus your energy, like learning to bake, joining a book club, or volunteering for a non-profit organization; taking up a new hobby can really help you stay focused when you’re feeling blue.
8. Start Working Towards Your Career Goals
Did you neglect your career while you were planning your wedding? I know I did. It’s important for me to now start accomplishing the goals I’ve set out for myself. When you feel fulfilled professionally, that feeling can spill over into your relationships. This is a wonderful time to concentrate a little more on your career, and on how you expect to accomplish your professional goals. Do whatever it is that makes you more productive: make to-do lists, write down what you need to accomplish, and cut down on distractions, like watching television! This should help you get back into the swing of things, and back to some normalcy. Keeping a planner on my desk really helps me with this, especially if I fill it out first thing in the morning, or late at night. The Productivity Planner is an excellent planner and is based off the Pomodoro Technique, which helps with time management and pushes you to stay productive. I also like to keep a weekly/monthly planner and since pink is my favorite color, I’m drawn to pink planner like this Orange Circle Hello Pink Planner!
If you do even a few things on this list, I think your wedding blues will be gone before you know it. Remember that it’s important to stay busy, to have something that you can focus on, and to appreciate how blessed you are to have a partner in your life who loves and supports you. Start hanging some wedding photos around your home, and celebrate your wedding for what it was: the START of your new, wonderful life, and the foundation for your future!